Bi and Bi

So, I was in Borders the other day, wondering why (according to the bookstore's LGBTQI section of literature), I apparently do not exist? Why does it seem bisexuals are so irrelevant to both straight and gay (and many trans) communities?  I find it frustrating that when bisexuality is even acknowledged (which it is not in this bookstore- and many other places) it is only referenced when discussing "questioning" youth, promiscuity or cheating, identity confusion, or switching teams.  It's unfair that even among the so-called "queer community" we cannot be acknowledged or accepted for everything that makes us who we are.  In our conversations regarding DADT, we constantly use the phrase "gay soldiers"- Too many people forget the bi and trans folks, forget inclusion, forget the equality they claim to stand for... It's getting old. 

       Cynthia Nixon, a celeb of status and wealth, cannot, at least in public, identify as bisexual, and instead claims that her choosing to call herself gay is a "political" identification.  If even a woman in her position cannot call herself what she truly is, how can those of us in the bi/fluid/pan community who have less visibility and fewer resources feel comfortable coming out as who we are? 

   Must we honestly refer to ourselves as gay (or straight) when our behavior is clearly not so black-and-white?  Should we oversimplify descriptions or labels when communicating our orientations, merely because others can't accept who we are?

   I remember one night that I danced with a friend at Gallery (the club in Providence, RI that was an incredible safe space for me when 'coming out' at 19)- and an acquaintance there said, upon discovering that I was attracted to men, "Oh. You're one of those."  I couldn't believe that this woman who self-identified as a butch dyke was going to sit there and judge me, make me feel small, make me feel ashamed, in a place I had loved for so long.  I had loved it for its open/accepting atmosphere... but here I was, defending myself yet again to someone who wished to discriminate/hate/accuse/condescend/assume.

I understand that women have plenty of reasons to feel anger towards men.  I struggle constantly with my issues as a rape survivor, and I understand the resentment one can feel when one is aware of this oppressive patriarchy.  But it's not just lesbians hating on bi women; there are plenty of gay men who dislike bisexual men and women too.

I'll be writing more on this topic later, but now I should get back to studying for final exams. Definitely more to come, though! BI until then!:)